Link to paper

Access full paper

A qualitative exploration of autistic adults’ experiences of loneliness

Loneliness is a common emotion experienced by many, but previous research indicates higher rates of loneliness within the autistic adult community. Led by Kana Grace, an autistic researcher, this study explores the lived experiences of a diverse group of over 200 autistic adults through an online survey.  Each was asked a series of questions on loneliness: how they would define it; how it affects them; how they manage it; what helps them overcome it; and how their experiences may have changed over time?

Through a reflexive thematic analysis, four themes were seen.

Internal Conflict

“A need to socialise – have good friendships… but also how social interactions exhaust us… this catch-22 can lead to loneliness”

A key distinction was made by one participant highlighting that being alone was a choice, but the feeling of loneliness was an unwanted feeling. Many autistic people want to build connections with people, but this can so easily become overstimulating and exhausting. This creates a vicious cycle. Autistic processing may intensify this cycle.  It also confirms previous results – some autistic people may not seek social interaction, but it does not mean they are unwilling to join in.

Barriers to connection for autistic adults

“We need to feel accepted as we are and have the ‘normal’ expectations removed”

A key barrier identified was the perceived lack of societal understanding and acceptance of autism, creating thoughts that they didn’t ‘fit in’ with the wider population. With a lack of shared experience, participants found it hard to feel connected to their peers and build connections. With the added barrier of sensory overload, one participant described themselves as feeling even lonelier when in a group of people due to feeling overwhelmed and out of place.

Importance of meaningful relationships

“being on social media and being parts of groups where people share experiences and I feel like I’m not the only one who feels like that any more”

Multiple participants discussed the importance of quality over quantity regarding social relationships. This quality was found by connecting similar others, as well as spending time with pets and animals. There was also a worry in only having one or two relationships, fearing how they would cope without them.

Coming to terms with the realities of autistic experience

“I care less about being lonely as I get older”

The barriers faced by autistic adults to combat loneliness are evident, so some participants demonstrated the importance of self-acceptance. They sometimes described the autistic experience around loneliness as inevitable, but it can be managed through self-acceptance and self-understanding.

So…

Loneliness is more than lack of connection.  So instead of just seeing more people:

1) grow an acceptance of one’s own autistic differences

2) seek like-minded individuals

3) make good sensory environments for meeting others and take up online social opportunities

4) look for an acceptance of autism in society

Summary by Hannah